I just came home after work and a yoga class. My ideas are clearer now.
I lit a lamp in the corner of the room, my appartment is always dark during the afternoon, I face north-east, that must be why. A Plastikman old album is playing. One of the last acid-techno album I liked ever. The loops repeat, expand like acid-bass mantras.
Tonite I am going to write a post with no edition. My English grammar is not perfect but let’s put modesty on the side: I am better in English than most of the French people I know. I think I’m going to continue to write like this. I think you can understand me.
The past weeks have been tough. I faced several issues that I won’t explain here – it would be too long and completely unineteresting. I started to become a stressed zombie.
I blamed my job, my life, my body… everything … I stopped eating well, I stopped yoga, I stopped talking, I stopped writing… I focused on my (fake) issues until they started to rot in my soul.
And after a couple weeks, when the stress should have rise again I am strangely calmer.
Yesterday, I went back to yoga, my body hurt. I was shaking like crazy. My hand my elbows my knees started to talk to me. I realized that my soul, my me is not in my brain, it’s everywhere in my body and around too. Like a dried sponge under the water the flow started to take place. I was starting to be one again.
Today I spent around one hour meditating this morning. The past weeks issues started to float and went away. I was just me. I was in fact the only source of stress. Sure there some events around me, but the triggers of stress are all mine.
As every tough period of my life I draw some lessons. And also,they may not know it but The Minimalists (Joshua Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus) and Mikel Dixon have been great inspiration for me lately. First in the Minimalists’ essay about authentic people. And also Mykel Dixon Back to the b.asics.
Have I been authentic lately? Well… no, I don’t think so. I lied to myself, I reject the fault on others, I wore a mask of fake emotions. That’s why going back to the basics ( listen to myself, meditate, be active… in my case) is a big deal.
In the next days I am going to start new projects. Completely forget about the past weeks, nothing has been enjoyable (except the camping in the mud part).
Here is the deal:
- program every day: I love programming. I love being in front of a code editor see the instructions in colors. Run, Debug… This my way of creating, or at least this the way I create in which I am the most succesful.
- take care of me: I turned 31 recently and the past 6-7 years I did not really take care of my body. I started with yoga back in January and there is obviously some improvements to be done. At least one hour of sport every day seems to be the minimum. Also nutrition –> less processed, more fruits and vegetables.
- authenticity: Basically I am going to put more effort on acting according to my values.
- meditation: at least half an hour every day
This list will probably grow in the near future. This is just here a quick intuitive post. I wanted to write this down and I think it’s good to share it.
Now I feel good.
Let’s do this. And I hit publish.